Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A cardiologist overhauled his diet to boost his longevity. Here's the grocery store path he takes to stick to his meal plan and avoid bad foods. - Business Insider

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What is the difference between anxiety and depressive neurosis?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How can I navigate a romantic relationship as a trans person, and what are some common challenges that I might face?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

I actually pay taxes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Canadian Robot Finds a Weight Beneath the Ocean Equivalent to 250 Million Elephants - Jason Deegan

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

How do I get access to a dog for bestiality? I am currently unable to adopt a dog, but I want to know if there are still ways to have sex with one without getting caught.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Can you share a picture of your favorite outfit and explain why you love it?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Thousands of Netflix fans gather for Tudum - TechCrunch

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can read

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I see through liars

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee